You Don't Know What You Got 'Til it's gone....

Imagine, you're sitting at a lunch table waiting for class to begin. Its the first day of kindergarten and you're sitting there alone, crying for your mom. When you meet your best friend. No he's a guy. And he starts talking to you, and you feel better.
Or imagine, You're sitting with that same guy, four years later, and your friend makes you laugh so hard Hi-c comes shooting out your nose and all over him.
Or imagine, the last time you see him, you're at a wedding sitting side by side, watching your teacher get married. And you can't help but think, will he be my husband?
I guess you could say I have feelings for that guy but that guy is long gone. And no, he's not dead, he moved ONE THOUSAND miles away. Before you could even get his cell phone number. Go figure right. And then, in not even a week you're going to that state, and your own father won't let you see him. No matter how much you want to.
This feeling needs to go away. Like, NOW. You can say I'm a little obsessed. And starting tomorrow there are so many changes that are going into effect. I figured I'd post this while I'm still allowing myself to think about him. All of my earliest memories of school, include him, his sister, (whose little name is Sarah, just like me) or his parents. They were so sweet. They are so sweet. God I miss him. The last time I saw him was like two years ago, and I haven't been able to forget about him. It feels like, he's just disappearing from my memory, and I don't want that. You know that feeling when you find that one guy who can make you smile on your crappiest day, that was him to me. But now he's gone and I REALLY need to move on. I never would have guessed that moving on, would be so god damned hard. And now pathetic me, just took up about three minutes of your time to tell you about a guy I am NEVER going to see again. :( God I hate that I let him get to me like this. And starting tomorrow, I will not think about him. But do me a favor, if you know his name, don't mention it. Thanks!

I'm giving up trying to be that perfect daughter my parents have always imagined. I'm done trying to cover the real me. And Hell, I'm fucking done with trying to make things work. If they don't work now, they never will. So if you know what I'm talking about, or who I'm talking about, this is to let you all know, Addo is done. I have wiped my hands clean of any past drama, of any past emotions, and also, of any past friendships. If a friendship didn't make it to your present, then there's a reason it didn't last. So Alexis, I give up trying to patch our friendship.

XOXO
Addo